A Dragon's Tail

In a faraway land of mountainous expanses and deep mysterious caverns, a man named George was travelling down a quiet mountain pass when he spied the shadow of a great fiery dragon in  a distant mountain crevice.

George had never seen a dragon before but a friend's mother's neighbour's dog had once been eaten by a dragon.  So naturally, George immediately thought to kill the dragon and become a famous hero among his peers.

George waited patiently until the beast spread its great wings over the mountain side and glided through the air.  George saw that the scales upon the dragon's back glittered like jewels.  He thought to himself that perhaps such a kill would make George rich too.

Then George saw with horror that there was a beautiful girl clutched against the dragon's chest.

"What luck!"thought George.  "I'll not only be a wealthy hero, but I shall win the gratitude of and devotion of a fair maiden!"

George levelled the sight of his bow on the heart of the  huge shimmering beast and let his arrow fly.  His aim was true and the beast plummeted to the ground in the road ahead.  When George arrived to the spot where the beast lay dying, he was dumbfounded by the sight of the maiden cradling the monstrous lizard's head in her arms. Her sorrow flowed ceaselessly upon it's great muzzle as it died.

Young George was aghast. He stopped and stared impatiently at the pathetic girl wailing over the lifeless corpse.  Out of respect, George wanted  to wait for  the right moment to present itself before sweeping in for his trophies and claiming his rightful place in history. But as the girl sobbed over his prize, it never seemed the right moment to step in and skin the beast as he had originally planned.  He thought perhaps the girl would not mind if he merely plucked a few scales, or pulled a few of the monster's giant fangs. But try as he might, he could not get near enough for even a talon clipping. Every time he approached, the girl would become inexplicably hysterical.

George eventually slumped past them and went home empty-handed.  Lucky for him, this was way before anyone really thought to ask for evidence or proof of such strange stories. So when he told his tale of how he took out the dragon, George very quickly became quite famous as a heroic dragon-slayer, princess-rescuer and all-around pretty super-awesome guy. He lived fairly happily until someone cut his head off a few years later.

The End.

The Tragic Lovelife of the Strongest Man Alive

There was a time beyond memory when barbarian tribes elected their chief based purely on physical strength and appearance. No one ever questioned the wisdom in such customs because important decisions (like which customs to follow) were usually decided in a battle to the death.

The very strongest chief in history had the most beautiful head of luscious locks anyone had ever seen; so naturally, everyone did exactly what he said most of the time.  When it came to women, it should come as no surprise that he could take his pick of any woman in the tribe, but there was really only one he ever wanted.

Not only was the object of his affection terribly beautiful, but it was generally agreed upon that she was also quite wild and a little dangerous. So it was no wonder she was smitten.

Anyone could have told him that she was nothing but trouble, except they didn't, because he was the chief and no one was willing to go to battle over a foolish woman.  Most people just assumed he would come to his senses, but he never did. Love is sometimes like that.   The legendary chief was well and truly blind to his beloved's faults, and she made it her business to make a tidy profit from his.

One evening a couple of opportunists overheard her boasting of her influence upon the the famous chief.  They wagered a shekel that if her lover was true, he would set aside his power to possess her. Having a certain amount of decency, she refused the wager out of hand... until they offered her 30 silver pieces (which was a lot of money then). She took their generous wager and set to work bullying her poor besotted lover into cutting himself off from the source of his power. Quite literally, she made him cut his hair. Short.

Tragically, he had a very oddly shaped head.  And in a culture that chooses its leaders for their muscles and manes, an oddly shaped head could ruin a political career, which it inevitably did.

The chieftain lost his confidence in no time, and soon his desire to workout. He grew as weak and whiny as a child.  His incessant bellyaching eventually drove his troublesome woman to leave him forever (which may have been for the best), and soon everyone wanted to fight him for the position of handsomest man in town.

Sibling Rivalry

In a far away place a very long time ago, there lived a pair of brothers.  As children they were as close as brothers could be, but each was different in his way. The elder brother was a temperamental lad, blessed with a green thumb. While the younger was a spirited boy with gentle manners and a skill for wrangling animals.

For some reason, their father preferred the younger, kinder son, and so resentment poisoned the elder brother's heart towards his own family. Eventually, the jealous boy became  a self-centred and vicious man.

One day the elder brother went to his father and demanded to be given his rightful inheritance. His father, who liked to think himself a just man, gave him half of his entire estate.

But still, the elder brother was not grateful. Instead, he lusted after his brother's share and plotted to relieve him of it.

Sure enough, the younger brother was soon discovered dead. And the elder brother had become so unscrupulous, that he threatened to abandon his father lest he give him his newly totalled inheritance. His father, thinking himself a wise man, agreed to turn over every last sheep and shekel; though not before he could hold an appropriate service in his recently dead son's honour.
The greedy scion, who was known to be vain as well as volatile, magnanimously agreed to grant his request.

The funeral service was the most extravagant extravaganza of all time. His father spared no expense and all the guest marvelled at the lavish opulence of the affair.

Once all the guests had sung their dirges and gobbled up their fare share, the son turned once again to his father and demanded the remaining share of his father's wealth.

His father, patted him on the shoulder and told him there was nothing left.  ''Every shekel was spent, every last cask of wine was poured, and every sheep was sheered and shish-kabobbed.  Now take your fortune and go!''

And so the greedy man left his father's house never to return and lived miserably ever after.